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A month ago we had my sister's bachelorette party (I can't believe I haven't posted about it yet!).

Guests were invited to wear their tackiest bridesmaid dress, and boy did they!

The bride, of course, wore a wedding gown.

Once everyone arrived, we enjoyed a delicious meal together that was prepared by my dear mother. She made caesar salad, candied carrots, pastry-wrapped chicken stuffed with cheese (and topped with an inappropriate pastry shape), and potatoes.

The cloth napkins were the perfect addition to our table setting.

I repurposed the vases from Abby's shower.

Mmm, mmm, mmm!

The hunk of the evening...

Abby's bridesmaid, April, baked these sweet things.

Abby saving the day...

After dinner, the guests went on a scavenger hunt. Everyone started with clue number one, which lead them to clue two, which lead them to clue three....all the way up to ten where the winning team found a prize. It went okay, but if I could do it over, I would start everyone out with a different clue.

The clues, of course, were dirty and inappropriate. **Dad, if you're reading this, stop here.** For example, clue number one said, "A great place to do the deed, especially when on your monthly bleed." Terrible and disgusting--Lord, forgive me--but, the answer for that one (if you haven't guessed it yet), is the shower.

If anyone out there is planning a bacherlorette party and would like to know all ten of the dirty clues I came up with, let me know and I'll email them to you!

After the hunt, we played dirty charades. This was my favorite game of the night and, aside from one *surprisingly* shy person, I think everyone really liked it! Everyone was on their own team and had to act out two different dirty words (i.e. porn, missionary, dildo). Whoever was first to guess their word received one point. AND, if the girl who was acting out the word had her word guessed within 30 seconds, she got a point too. The person with the most points won (I did first and second prizes).

Lastly, the group split into two teams and each stood in a straight line. I gave the first person in line a cucumber, they placed the cucumbers upove their knees and between their legs, and passed it to the next girl in line. Two rules: 1) no hands allowed 2) if the cucumber drops, the team has to start over from the beginning. The first team to get their cucumber to the end of the line wins. We played best out of three and the winning team won "BJ Blast" (...which I think was like rock candy...which sounds painful).

Marissa and Shannon

The losing team.

The WINNING team!

After the games, Abby opened her presents, we chit chatted, drank, adjusted our sexy dresses, and headed out the door! The night was spent bar hopping, singing karaoke, and dancing our booties off. We stayed out alllll niiiiighhhhttt loooonnngggg! Even my mom stayed all night (she was our dd)!

Cute little nightie and robe set from her Aunt Krista.

Beer, munchies, napkins that read: "Contrats on no longer living in sin," and the party favors: chocolate, ring pops, ibuprofen, and suckers.

April and Lindsay learning some new moves.

April made cosmos for everyone!

The whole gang at the bar!

Me and my mom. Can you believe how giant that sleeve is!?

If you've seen the movie, "Bridesmaids", you'll understand :)

Another "Bridesmaids" reenactment :)

Karaoke

Lindsay showing off her awesome shorts. And no, she did not have an accident...it just looks that way.

Jenna and Abby

April and Abby

Abby and me

Piled in the back of my car for the ride home (with gyros in hand).

IT WAS SUCH A GREAT NIGHT!!!!

...exactly two weeks til wedding day. Holy MOLY!

Relief.

The last two weeks have been absolutely crazy for me. Advice to all: do not throw a bridal shower and a bachelorette party on back-to-back weekends.

It wasn't originally planned that way, but that's how it worked for everyone, so that's how I did it. Anyway, it's all over now and I have never felt so relieved! Everything went so well and (it seemed like) everyone had so much fun! I will post pictures later (that kind of post requires more time than I have right now).

Another thing that I completed this weekend...I redid my resume, wrote a cover letter, and applied to a job that I've had my eye on for a while now. So what if I submitted my application and resume a month after the deadline? It's in, and I am so hopeful that I get considered. Even if this job doesn't work out for me...oh well, my resume is complete and ready for anyone who will look at it!

One more source of relief: I went shopping this weekend and was too lazy to try anything on. So, when I bought two pairs of shorts in the size I wore last summer, my fingers were crossed hoping they would actually fit when I got around to trying them on. And to my surprise, they did! If you haven't gathered from my previous posts, I am the queen of a fluctuating body weight--Oprah, step aside! ...in a 3-month period, my weight will typically fluctuate between about seven pounds; this is why my dresser has a designated "fat drawer." But heck no new shorts, you do not belong in there!

Cheers to a wonderful, 72 degree Monday!

M.I.A.

Holy, holy smokes! I have been gone for so long I don't even know where to start! The number one reason for my absence is work. For the past four weeks I had been working on audits where I did not have internet access (or, if I was lucky, I got to share an internet cord with two other people). And, since I usually blog during my lunch break, that really wasn't feasible. Also, for the past four weeks I have been working on audits that suck the life out of me. Literally. It wasn't uncommon for me to be at work at 6 AM and not leave until 7 PM (or later). This, you see, has really planted the "find a new job" seed in my mind--but enough about work--I am soooo sick of it!

This is a typical work space for me and my co-workers. I dream of having an office (or even a cubicle) someday!

This is not exactly a typical binder of ours, but it was so funny looking that I had to take a picture. I am SO GLAD I was not the one who had to go through this ginormous thing.

Last Friday Trent and I spent the evening in the quad cities and stayed at a casino (not sure which one), where I was the star of the blackjack table and won a whole $25! On Saturday we went to my second-cousin, Matthew's, first birthday party in Davenport. It was such a fun day full of lots and lots of babies.

Baby Matthew and his dad, Drew.

Unhappy baby Claire and her great-grandma

Kennedy, me, and Quinn

Quinn and me. I love his cute little smile here :)

Every free minute I had this week was spent creating my sister's bachelorette party invites. And, if I do say so myself, they turned out absolutely ADORABLE. But, just to warn anyone that considers making them, be sure you have enough free time set aside! I made about twenty-five of them and it probably took me a good twenty hours to get them all done.

A corset or a martini glass...depending on how you look at it.

This past Thursday, Trent and I took half a day off from work and headed to Omaha to see, drum roll please....TAYLOR SWIFT in concert! HOLY CRAPALONI she was soooo good! Seriously, I don't even understand how she can be so good. She even sang my favorite song of hers, "All Too Well." Click this link to hear it:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzJlpnBaJyw

This is the best picture we took of ourselves as we waited for Taylor to come out.

This is the best picture I got of her that wasn't on the big screen. We really did have great seats, but my stupid phone wasn't taking the greatest pictures.

I spent this weekend at my cousin Amanda's house dog-sitting while her and her family went to Chicago. I gave her fair warning that her dogs would be getting absolutely no attention from me, and that is exactly how it went. All I did for them was fill up their dog bowls and open up the door so they could go outside to do their business. This weekend confirmed my previous decision that I would never own a dog--not because they misbehaved or anything while I "watched" them, but because they are pointless--they sit around and sleep all day long, they stare at me very annoyingly, and their tails whack me in the leg whenever they are within a foot of me. And, I discovered this weekend, that the smell of dog food makes me want to gag.

Along with dog-sitting this weekend, I worked on more bridal shower projects, went shopping with my sister and her soon-to-be stepdaughters for their junior bridesmaids dresses (we found the perfect one!), and tried to give my miserably sore legs some rest. If you recall from this post, I was supposed to start my pre-training a month ago. Welp, that didn't happen, so this week I suffered through my training and now feel quite miserable and out of shape.

This week *should* be a bit better for me at work so hopefully I will not be M.I.A. from the blogging world anymore.

Happy St. Patrick's Day to all and to all a good night!